Senatorial Diagnosis: Brain Hemorrage
From CTV:
"U.S. Democratic Sen. Tim Johnson was in critical but stable condition Thursday after undergoing late-night brain surgery, creating uncertainty over the Democrats' tenuous hold over the incoming Senate.
The U.S. Capitol physician said Johnson suffered from bleeding in the brain caused by a congenital malformation present from birth. Doctors had to drain the blood that had accumulated in Johnson's brain and stop continued bleeding.
"The senator is recovering without complication," Adm. John Eisold, the physician, told reporters. "It is premature to determine whether further surgery will be required or to assess any long-term prognosis."
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Most likely proximate cause: ruptured cerebral aneurism (grade III from the sound of it).
As for the term "congenital malformation," the press is usually really bad with this stuff, so I really don't know if they just mean "general birth defect" or an actual physiological deformation present in the Senator's cranium.
I think it's either thrombocytopenia or a cerebral arteriovenous malformation.
Guess I jumped the gun on the whole "Bushites murder a Democratic Senator" bit... Unless...
Unless... they traveled back in time, force fed Senator Johnson's mother loads of thiazides while pregnant, then had Karl Rove jump through the time vortex at several points throughout the Senator's life to make sure he went unaffected by his congenital defect until the critical point of 2006, where he uses a supersonic EMP device to rupture the 60-year-old man's cerebral blood vessels and thus WIN BACK CONTROL OF THE SENATE.
I think I've been watching too much Dr. Who lately.
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